Terms of Use

These terms govern your use of Weaponized Friendship. By using this site, you agree to them.

Please read the "Disputes" section below: it requires most disputes to go to individual arbitration and waives your right to participate in a class action. We're telling you that here rather than burying it.

What this site is

Weaponized Friendship is a comedy site. It is written in the voice of an official-looking organization that processes friendship paperwork, but that organization is fictional and so is everything it claims to administer. All content here — the ideas, case files, assessments, certificates, campaigns, and any other material — is parody and entertainment. It is not professional, legal, medical, financial, or any other kind of advice, and it should not be relied on as such.

Every organization, agency, board, council, seal, and stamp that appears on this site is invented for the joke. Nothing here is affiliated with, endorsed by, or issued by any real government body, court, company, or institution, and nothing here should be presented to anyone as a genuine document from a real organization.

Who you're dealing with

Weaponized Friendship is the seller, and is operated by Bill Sambrone. Questions go to support@weaponizedfriendship.com.

Eligibility

You must be 18 or older to buy anything from this site. No one under 13 may use this site or hold an account.

Your account

You are responsible for your account and for what happens under it, including keeping access to your email secure — that is how sign-in works. You can delete your account at any time from your account settings, and deletion takes effect immediately. The privacy policy sets out exactly what deletion removes and what it does not.

Acceptable use

The premise of this site is comedic and consent-based: the running joke is aimed at people you actually know and care about, and the humor depends on staying harmless. Our guiding rule is "evil in tone, boringly safe in execution" — the tone is dramatic; the actual suggestions are not.

Nothing on this site authorizes, encourages, or excuses anything illegal, dangerous, harassing, or non-consensual. You are responsible for your own conduct and for following the laws that apply to you. Do not use this site — including its personalization and photo-upload tools — to harass, threaten, defame, stalk, deceive, or harm anyone, or against anyone who has not consented. The separate photo upload policy sets out additional rules you must follow.

Intellectual property

Our content

All content and artwork on this site are the property of Weaponized Friendship. Except as expressly permitted below, no part of it may be reproduced, distributed, or otherwise reused without permission.

The free mascot file

We give away a 300 DPI file of our mascot, and we mean give away. We grant you a worldwide, irrevocable, royalty-free, non-exclusive license to use, modify, reproduce, print, and sell that file, including for commercial purposes. Put it on shirts, mugs, stickers, whatever you like — and sell them.

Three things you may not do:

• Use the Weaponized Friendship name, wordmark, or branding on or with what you make.
• State or imply that we made, sponsored, approved, or endorsed your product.
• Register the artwork, or anything derived from it, as your own trademark.

The file is provided as is, with no warranty of any kind. You are solely responsible for everything you do with it — including making sure your use is lawful wherever you sell — and you agree to indemnify us for any claim arising out of it.

What you upload

You keep ownership of the photos you upload. You grant us only the limited license we need to store, process, print, and fulfil what you ordered — nothing more. We do not use your uploads to advertise or promote this site. The photo upload policy covers the rest.

What you post

If you submit material to the site — a review, or an incident report — you keep ownership of what you wrote, but you grant us a non-exclusive license to publish, edit, anonymize, and display it as part of the site.

What you buy

A digital file you purchase is licensed for your own personal use. You may print it for yourself and give the printed thing to the friend it is about. You may not resell, redistribute, or sub-license the file itself. The free mascot file above is the deliberate exception — that one you may sell.

What you promise us when you personalize something

By uploading a photo or entering someone's name, you warrant that you have the rights and the consents needed for that photo and those names, and that your use follows the photo upload policy. That policy is part of these terms.

AI-generated results

The personalization tools use AI, which is not deterministic: the same input can produce different results. We do not guarantee likeness, accuracy, flattery, or any particular outcome. A result you simply don't like is not a defect. This is why every generated image is shown to you before you can order anything printed with it — look at the preview before you buy. Refunds are covered on the returns and refunds page.

Purchases

This site sells two kinds of things: print-on-demand physical goods — posters, mugs, and similar printed items, made to order by a print-on-demand supplier — and inexpensive digital downloads. All prices are in U.S. dollars and shown on each product page.

Payment and checkout are processed by Shopify; we never see or store your payment details. Because each physical item is printed when you order it, production time precedes carrier shipping time. Shipping costs and taxes are shown at checkout before you pay, and you are responsible for entering a correct shipping address.

Cancellations, replacements, and refunds — including the window in which you can still change an order — are covered on the Returns, Refunds & Cancellations page.

Chargebacks

Please contact us before disputing a charge with your bank. Because each physical item is printed for one buyer and cannot be resold, we contest chargebacks on custom goods that were delivered as ordered.

No warranties

This site is provided "as is," without warranties of any kind, express or implied. Printed goods are manufactured products: minor variation in colour, material, trim, and print placement is normal and is not a defect.

Limitation of liability

To the fullest extent permitted by law, Weaponized Friendship and Bill Sambrone are not liable for any damages or losses arising from your use of this site or from anything you choose to do based on its contents. Our total liability for any claim is limited to the amount you paid for the order the claim concerns.

Indemnification

You agree to indemnify and hold harmless Weaponized Friendship and Bill Sambrone from any claim arising out of your use of this site, anything you upload or post, and anything you make or sell using the free mascot file.

Suspension and termination

We may suspend or terminate an account that violates these terms or the photo upload policy. You may delete yours at any time.

Disputes

Any dispute between you and us will be resolved by binding individual arbitration rather than in court, and you and we each waive the right to a jury trial and the right to participate in a class, collective, or representative action.

Two exceptions, so this clause stays fair: either of us may still bring a claim in small-claims court if it qualifies, and either of us may go to court for an injunction over misuse of intellectual property.

Governing law

These terms are governed by the laws of the State of California.

Links to other sites

This site links to places we do not control — Shopify's checkout and product pages on other retailers, among others. We are not responsible for their content or their practices.

Changes to these terms

We may update these terms. When we do, the "Last updated" date at the top changes. Continuing to use the site after a material change means you accept it.

Severability and entire agreement

If any provision of these terms is found unenforceable, the rest stays in force. These terms, together with the privacy policy, the photo upload policy, and the refunds policy, are the entire agreement between you and us about this site.

Contact

Questions about these terms can be sent to support@weaponizedfriendship.com.