Skip to content
You love your friends. We help you piss them off.
Weaponized FriendshipYou love them. That's why.

The Single-Object Installation Kit

Take one worthless object from her house, mount it in a glass case, light it from below, and hand her the docent duties.

An empty shadow box, white cotton gloves, sheets of ivory certificate paper, numbered accession labels, and a small battery spotlight laid out on a felt-lined workroom tray.
Severity
Concerning
Date
July 12, 2026
Cost
$$
Effort
Significant

Take something worthless from her house — the chipped mug, the souvenir magnet, the spoon that survived a decade in a junk drawer. Mount it in a glass case, light it, and hang it on her wall as a permanent exhibit. She becomes the museum. She also becomes the docent.

  • One shadow box. Gallery depth, glass front, wall hardware included. The object sits dead center with room to be considered.
  • One pair of white cotton gloves. They protect nothing; the object spent ten years in a drawer. They exist so it can't be handed back casually once everyone has watched it be handled in gloves.
  • Certificate paper, heavyweight, ivory — for the certificate of authenticity and for the placard, which does most of the talking.
  • Accession labels, self-adhesive, numbered from a series long enough to imply the rest of a collection. The label goes on the box, not the object.
  • One spotlight, miniature, battery-operated, angled upward. Museums light from above. An object lit from below has clearly been found significant, and significance is the whole thesis.

You hang it. It opens the next time she has company, and admission is free, because she lives there. She'll ask how long it has to stay up. Long enough that she stops asking and starts showing it to guests herself.

Personalize this for a specific friend →