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The Mispronunciation

She ordered an "expresso." It earned her a twelve-month remediation program.

Severity
Annoying
Date
July 12, 2026
Community reaction
Underreaction

Submitted by a reader. Entered as received.

The Incident — My friend ordered an "expresso." At brunch, in public, to a server who repeated the word back to her correctly. She said "expresso" a second time, warmly, as though they had reached an agreement.

The Response — She was enrolled, without application, in a twelve-month remediation program. Materials arrived monthly in plain envelopes: worksheets; a large-print diagram of the word, which contains no X anywhere; flashcards; and a Level One completion certificate, withheld, with a letter documenting the withholding. Month six was a cassette tape. She does not own a cassette player. This was known at the time of mailing.

The Escalation — Months nine through twelve moved to immersion. At every shared meal, I ordered first — one espresso, enunciated fully, whether or not I wanted one. I have had a great deal of espresso. The program concluded with a final assessment, administered orally, which she failed on the first word.

Current Friendship Status — Still says expresso. The program has been renewed for a second year. She has offered to fund the espressos.

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