Entry in the National Registry of Guys Named Greg

Tell your friend Greg he's been entered in the National Registry of Guys Named Greg. He wasn't consulted. Being Greg was enough.

Mail him the notice of enrollment, and let it confirm the particulars. Registrant: Greg. Basis of enrollment: is named Greg. Classification: Greg, standard. Verification: a registrar watched him respond to "Greg" across a parking lot, twice, the second time with a wave. The entry is complete and cross-indexed against other Gregs, none of whom are his concern.

Enrollment wasn't requested, and that's in order. It also isn't an achievement. It's a fact, now recorded, the way rainfall is recorded. No benefits attach. No obligations attach. No meetings are held. He's asked only to continue, in the manner already observed.

Address the envelope to "GREG," no surname. The postal service will accept it, because he is. He'll turn it over twice looking for what it means, and land on the truth: you did all this because he's your friend, and his name is Greg.