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You love your friends. We help you piss them off.
Weaponized FriendshipYou love them. That's why.

Custom Desk Mat

Three sizes, the largest sixteen inches by thirty-two. Our picture is the default; theirs, uploaded with their blessing, replaces it. A line top and bottom, or neither. After that they cannot put down a coffee without putting it on their own face.

The desk mat, blank and unprinted
The picture we print by default

Whose picture goes on it

Printing your own photo needs an account — the upload becomes a file we hold for you, and we don't hold files for strangers. Sign in first. Our picture you can buy right now, with no account at all.

The 300 DPI file of our picture is free — just the face, transparent background, nothing written on it. Download it and put it on whatever colour you like, as many times as you like. No account, no email, no catch — you can sell what you make (the license).

Printed in a band above and below the picture, exactly as typed. Leave either one blank for no band.

Made to order. You can change or cancel it within 1 hour of buying — returns and refunds.